


Tyrannosaurus Wrecked

by bearpantaloons



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Drunk Kara Danvers, F/F, and not in a sexy way, apparently drunk kryptonians get very punchy, especially if they watch their girlfriend get eaten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-28 19:02:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20783567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearpantaloons/pseuds/bearpantaloons
Summary: What do you do when your very attractive girlfriend's lookalike gets eaten by a dinosaur? Go back in time and punch it in the mouth, of course.OR,Kara and Lena watch Jurassic World and Kara realizes Zara looks like Lena and when That Thing happens, she freaks out and wants to drunkenly beat up dinosaurs.





	Tyrannosaurus Wrecked

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ImaginaryDragons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaginaryDragons/gifts).

> Based on [this tweet](https://twitter.com/shipperofstuff/status/1176609078635896832) and I borrowed/stole/lovingly caressed the idea and wrote the fic for it. Spoilers if you haven't seen _Jurassic World_.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> tumblr: bearpantaloons  
Twitter: tapdancinghippo

Lena Luthor doesn’t have a particularly unique face. In fact, she would say it’s kind of ordinary in the grand scheme of things. However, she knows she’s attractive; Kara likes to tell her so at least three times a day in the most exuberant ways, either planting a kiss on her cheek or shouting it in the middle of a park, or sometimes when they’re in bed and Kara’s head is in between—anyway, she knows she has a nice face. It’s something that she prides herself in, knowing that with a look, she can bring a man to his knees, not that she needs to anymore, but it’s nice to know she can.

She and Kara have been trying to catch up on all of the Hollywood blockbusters she’s missed out on while working herself into the ground and had pretty much zero interest in movies, until a certain Kryptonian made it apparent that she _has_ to keep up with pop culture, otherwise she’ll be known as a twenty-five-year-old grandma. They’ve gone through all of the Star Wars films, in machete order, of course, and then it was all of the Harry Potter movies, to which Kara _insists_ that Lena is a Ravenclaw, but she sees herself more as a Slytherin and it’s caused way too many arguments, so they agree to disagree and begrudgingly call her a Slytherclaw.

Now, they’ve started Jurassic Park, because Lena told Kara one time three months ago that she had a certain fascination with dinosaurs and evolution, so they’ve gotten through the first three – to which Lena insisted that they turn it into a drinking game, because _Jurassic Park III_ really was a shitshow of a movie and it was the only way she could get through it. Fully tipsy and filled up to the brim with alcohol, they both start _Jurassic World_ and settle in. Kara managed to swipe a bottle of Aldebaran rum from the alien bar earlier that night and left a stack full of bills on the table, courtesy of her very rich girlfriend.

“Y’know, I could prolly beat up a dinosaur,” Kara mumbles, leaning on Lena’s shoulder.

“I’m sure you could, darling,” Lena replies reassuringly, patting Kara on the arm. “You’re very strong.”

“I’m Supergirl!” Kara shouts while flexing her biceps in Lena’s face, and, honestly, how are they going to get through the movie this way? They’ll probably have to re-watch it again later when they’re not quite so drunk. Although, drunk Kara is incredibly cute and endearing, so she’s not too annoyed. The movie starts rolling and Kara stuffs her mouth full of popcorn. Twenty-seven minutes in and Lena’s already annoyed by the kids not listening and running amok around the park. They never learn.

Kara sits up suddenly and throws the bowl of popcorn on the floor, kernels flying everywhere.

“Kara!”

She ignores the commotion and crawls closer to the television screen in all of its eighty-two inch glory. This was one instance where Lena decided that bigger was better, and Kara loved watching TV with her, so she splurged a little. Kara’s face is inches from the screen and she’s squinting at one of the characters, Zara.

“Don’t y’think she kinda looks like you?” Kara points to the woman onscreen, barely holding herself upright.

Lena looks up after trying to do damage control over the spilled popcorn and tilts her head. She has to admit that she does share a slight resemblance to Zara, but honestly, who would wear leggings and that shirt with that jacket?

“I guess a little,” Lena admits, gathering more popcorn back into the bowl. Kara continues watching the movie with her nose pressed to the screen. This isn’t quite how Lena planned to spend the evening, but Kara is completely engrossed by her lookalike and doesn’t seem to be letting it go. “I thought you’d seen this before,” she says.

Kara shakes her head without turning around. “No, only the first three.”

“Come sit by me, I miss you,” Lena pouts. Kara finally relents and stands up, but she backs up toward the couch and sits down while still watching the movie the entire time. Lena has to physically grab Kara’s arm and put it around her shoulder, so she can cuddle in close. She can feel Kara’s hands twitching while the movie starts to get more suspenseful. The dinosaurs have escaped (again) and are chasing the park guests. Naturally, people are running around and trying not to get eaten, the kids are still lost, and Zara, poor Zara, is—

“Oh, NO!” Kara exclaims, standing up again. “No, no, no.”

“Kara, calm down,” Lena says, trying to console her girlfriend, but it’s no use.

“It has Lena! You let her go, you beaked meanie,” Kara throws a punch in the air, knocking over the loveseat she bumps into. They both watch as Zara is flown through the air by a pterosaur and tossed around, then dropped into a giant pool. For a split second, they breathe a sigh of relief until a mosasaurus peeks its snout up out of the water and launches itself into the air, opening its mouth and devouring Zara and the pterosaur whole. Kara squeaks and is silent as she watches everything happen and Lena sits quietly, waiting to see if she needs to call Alex, or activate her red sun lamps in case Kara decides to demolish her apartment.

“Kara?” Lena says softly, watching her girlfriend stand in the middle of her living room with her hands over her mouth.

“It—it ate Lena.”

“Um. No, darling, I’m right here.”

“I can’t believe she’s gone.”

“What are you—I’m not _dead_.”

“There are so many things we haven’t done. I—she—we still haven’t used the _toys_,” she whispers as she looks Lena straight in the eye and grabs onto her arms. “I haaave to avenge her death. I’m going to go back in time, find a mosasaurus and show it what-for.” She punches a fist into her other hand and stands up straight.

“Kara, wait!” Lena shouts at her girlfriend as she opens the balcony door and jumps out without her super-suit.

Minutes later, Kara stumbles into the DEO and starts yelling for Brainy. He pokes his head out of one of the control rooms and Kara runs up to him.

“Brainy, I need t’borrow your Legion ring.”

“I do not think that is advisable in your state of inebriation,” Brainy replies dubiously, covering his hand.

“Pleaseeeee, it’s for Lena. A mosasaurus ate her! I have to beat one up. For Lena!”

“Oh, why did you not say so? If it is for our friend, I must allow it.” He takes his ring off and places it in Kara’s palm, standing back. He nods curtly. “For Lena.”

Kara nods back at him. “For Lena.” She closes her eyes and thinks about the time period she wishes to go to. She feels the air around her vibrate and when she opens her eyes again, she’s no longer in the DEO.

The combination of alien alcohol and time travel makes Kara extra woozy and she weaves around some ferns while making her way to the nearest body of water. She shifts some foliage around and finds a coastline and stands at a cliff, testing her powers. The sun is still yellow, but its effect on her may be different. She begins floating in the air, testing her flight first and when she can successfully navigate around without falling or shooting up into space, she figures she has the hang of it. The only issue is that she is still, incredibly, drunk, so she can fly, but she can’t exactly fly straight.

She hovers over the large body of water until she sees a large creature floating near the surface. She’s found her target.

“There you are, you big jerk,” she says as she flies over its back and lands on top of it. The mosasaurus stops swimming and jerks its body when it feels Kara on top of it. It begins thrashing and chomping its large jaws out of the water. _It has eighty-four teeth_, Kara remembers from the movie. Well, no matter. She’s about to punch all 84 teeth out of its gigantic mouth in the name of her dead girlfriend. As she climbs up toward its pointed snout, she pushes up the sleeves of her sweater to her elbows and balls both hands into fists. She flies out in front of the beast, stares at its two beady eyes and they stare back at her as if she’s wearing a sign that says ‘Lunch’ on it. Before the mosasaurus can blink, Kara pulls her arm back and socks the dinosaur right in the mouth and its head flies backwards, lifting its entire body out of the water and flipping it onto its back.

“Take that!” Kara yells, watching the dinosaur retreat and swim away. She puts her hands on her hips proudly and then remembers why she was there and Lena had been eaten. Wiping her teary eyes with her sleeve, she uses the Legion ring to return back to her time period and flies back to Lena’s apartment. The balcony door is still open, letting the cool fall breeze circulate throughout the room, and Lena is asleep on the couch with the TV still on the Netflix menu.

Kara plops onto the couch and shakes the whole thing. Her drunkenness is finally wearing off, but she’s still at the emotional teary stage and starts sobbing. Lena shoots up and turns toward Kara.

“You’re back! What’s wrong?”

“I went all the way back to the Cretaceous Period to punch a dinosaur, but it didn’t make me feel better,” Kara sobs, throwing herself into Lena’s lap. “Lena’s still dead! Being digested by that big dummy.” More wailing. Lena doesn’t know what to do, so she just strokes Kara’s hair and lets her get it all out. She just hopes Kara will pass out soon and everything will be back to normal in the morning.

Eventually, Lena’s given a small mercy and Kara falls asleep with her head on her lap and she has hours of uncomfortable, broken sleep while sitting up on the couch. The wall of windows makes it so any bit of sunlight shines through the second the sun rises and everything is far too bright. Kara lets out a little snore and stirs, stretching her arms above her head and throwing her legs over the arm of the sofa.

“Did we fall asleep?” she asks, slurring her words sleepily.

“Something like that, darling. Come on, get up. I’ll make breakfast while you shower.”

Kara sits up slowly and blinks a few times. “How much did we drink last night?”

“Well, you drank an entire bottle of Aldebaran rum and I’m not sure what the alcohol content of alien rum is, compared to here, but you were pretty wasted. What do you remember?”

Kara wobbles a little as she tries to stand up. She looks around and sees the discarded bowl of old popcorn and the empty bottles of alcohol on the kitchen counter.

“I remember watching the first three _Jurassic Park_ movies and then I’m pretty sure we started _Jurassic World_. I remember seeing Chris Pratt’s cocky face, and—“ She pauses and her eyes widen as she looks down at her hand, noticing the gold ring around her finger. “Oh, Rao, did I—did I really go beat up a dinosaur?“

Lena stifles a laugh with the back of her hand. “All I know is that you disappeared sometime around two in the morning and you didn’t come back for hours. I couldn’t tell you where exactly you were, but you were adamant on punching a mosasaurus in the mouth after one ate my doppelganger.”

“She looked _exactly_ like you,” Kara whines. “I can’t be held accountable for anything that happens when drunk off my butt and my beautiful girlfriend’s doppelganger’s life is at stake. Gosh, I’m so embarrassed.” She hides her face in the palms of her hands.

Lena can’t help but feel endeared and maybe even a little turned on. It’s not everyday someone goes back millions of years in time just to punch a dinosaur for you. She kisses Kara on the cheek and sends her on her way toward the shower with a gentle pat on the butt while she heads into the kitchen and starts cooking. She assumes time travel would make a Kryptonian really hungry. She hears the shower turn on and then singing coming from the bathroom. It almost sounds like the _Denver the Last Dinosaur_ theme song, which pretty much makes Lena want to drop her pants right there in the kitchen. She has no idea where this dinosaur fetish came from. Anyway.

Suddenly, the shower turns off and Kara runs out of the bathroom, dripping wet and looking panicked.

“Lena, I just remembered that _Simpsons_ episode where Homer hops around in time and keeps changing the present. What if punching a mosasaurus changed something?”

Lena tries to ignore the fact that Kara is naked and wet in front of her and continues frying her eggs. “Darling, you and I are still here. Your sister is alive and Kelly is keeping her grounded. Brainy and Nia are dancing around each other and their feelings. Your mother is in Midvale. What else do you need to know?”

Kara sighs with relief. Her family and friends are okay. She’s okay. Turning on her heel, she quickly dries herself off and puts on some clothes, coming back into the kitchen.

“Hey, baby, where’s my super-suit?”

“What super-suit?”

“For-my Supergirl suit.”

“Who’s Supergirl?” 

Kara's heart starts to race. "I'm really hungry. Can we order potstickers for breakfast, too?"

Lena scrunches her face. "What are those?" 

Kara jumps out of the balcony and activates the Legion ring immediately, going back to visit a certain mosasaurus, and screaming the entire way there.


End file.
